the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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