it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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