i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
