He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm always down for nudity.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
