All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize