just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
