Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
