just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I could make wine with my vomit
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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