i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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