I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
