last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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