Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish I could punch you in the face.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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