His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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