ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
