??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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