you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
