My girlfriend figured out who you are.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
