Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
