I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
