she was so not down for the gang bang
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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