Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
