I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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