yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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