just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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