look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
