She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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