i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
soo... how was my night?
Randomize