Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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