my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
