She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
