Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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