So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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