By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So. Much. Porn.
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