whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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