Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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