I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
