All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
