His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
