It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
