dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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