i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
