Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He passed out mid-signature
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
