Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
