i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
