non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
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At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize