"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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