You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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