WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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