wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
