just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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