We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had to coat check the pizza.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize