these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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