my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
