The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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