wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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