HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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