i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we're making bets on your personal life
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
