I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
