Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

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  (973): look no pants http://tfl.nu/j078
  Replies (4) Good night (1613) Bad night (556)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm not a mortal combat character

  (410): View more from Maryland

  but my vagina is

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  (860): I'm not a mortal combat character (410): but my vagina is http://tfl.nu/01am
  Replies (16) Good night (1424) Bad night (542)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1652) Bad night (8709)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"

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  (718): you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD" http://tfl.nu/zg6m
  Replies (29) Good night (1097) Bad night (4651)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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  (630): week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/1sz9
  Replies (37) Good night (4614) Bad night (768)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering

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  (713): PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering http://tfl.nu/lhmy
  Replies (39) Good night (709) Bad night (3421)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.

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  (204): Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY. http://tfl.nu/elym
  Replies (11) Good night (2829) Bad night (890)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep

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  (806): Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep http://tfl.nu/b11i
  Replies (8) Good night (1896) Bad night (840)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself

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  (309): Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself http://tfl.nu/lvoc
  Replies (6) Good night (432) Bad night (921)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do

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  (231): I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do http://tfl.nu/swrn
  Replies (5) Good night (1067) Bad night (472)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.

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  (413): Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/hq06
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (435)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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  (613): Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick... http://tfl.nu/9qzg
  Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (502)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.

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  (586): She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible. http://tfl.nu/tfjy
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (784)
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  (315): View more from New York

  So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.

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  (315): So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose. http://tfl.nu/648d
  Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (632)
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  (530): View more from California

  He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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  (530): He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday http://tfl.nu/dy0x
  Replies (0) Good night (154) Bad night (58)

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