I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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