Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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  (512): I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related. http://tfl.nu/b1mq
  Replies (30) Good night (3698) Bad night (933)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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  (214): I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina. http://tfl.nu/q4iw
  Replies (56) Good night (3735) Bad night (1783)
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  (607): View more from New York

  If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.

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  (607): If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock. http://tfl.nu/sga2
  Replies (66) Good night (5402) Bad night (1580)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

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  (651): drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then. http://tfl.nu/hp3p
  Replies (17) Good night (2963) Bad night (810)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.

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  (618): he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/b942
  Replies (12) Good night (5202) Bad night (1140)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I ordered a moonbounce.

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fuck, you win.

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  (813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv
  Replies (39) Good night (10573) Bad night (1166)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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  (850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr
  Replies (17) Good night (2670) Bad night (4097)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

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  (410): she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love. http://tfl.nu/0ws2
  Replies (22) Good night (1289) Bad night (5778)
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  (510): View more from California

  listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.

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  (510): listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'. http://tfl.nu/236r
  Replies (22) Good night (3522) Bad night (1088)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again

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  (210): he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again http://tfl.nu/vgv1
  Replies (1) Good night (1234) Bad night (868)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
  Replies (14) Good night (2836) Bad night (720)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.

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  (940): I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/nfq7
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (352)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.

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  (732): He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man. http://tfl.nu/spji
  Replies (2) Good night (266) Bad night (422)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!

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  (+44): Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas! http://tfl.nu/iawo
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (262)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....

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  (248): It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory.... http://tfl.nu/ewu1
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (832)

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