Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in