My Higher Power is John Stamos
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.