Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(408): View more from California

Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people http://tfl.nu/thju

Replies (12) Good night (4172) Bad night (494)
Favorite
(940): View more from Texas

Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(940): Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost. http://tfl.nu/jz6g

Replies (25) Good night (574) Bad night (3057)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.

(862): View more from New Jersey

yet...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug. (732): Needless to say there is no second date for this girl. (862): yet... http://tfl.nu/och4

Replies (44) Good night (827) Bad night (6136)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out http://tfl.nu/kgmu

Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (2534)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck http://tfl.nu/s9r0

Replies (20) Good night (3413) Bad night (1696)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/ufdq

Replies (19) Good night (2288) Bad night (920)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours. http://tfl.nu/ireg

Replies (4) Good night (2046) Bad night (615)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy. http://tfl.nu/0mlh

Replies (14) Good night (2278) Bad night (876)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection http://tfl.nu/e8qx

Replies (24) Good night (1069) Bad night (5692)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.

(248): View more from Michigan

...that shit cray.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet. (248): ...that shit cray. http://tfl.nu/b6yz

Replies (14) Good night (4826) Bad night (659)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu

Replies (15) Good night (4743) Bad night (620)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING http://tfl.nu/zpal

Replies (5) Good night (1025) Bad night (435)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials. http://tfl.nu/99ms

Replies (4) Good night (245) Bad night (678)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm

(1+61): View more from

At least it wasn't your drinking arm

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm (1+61): At least it wasn't your drinking arm http://tfl.nu/wwzo

Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (197)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed. http://tfl.nu/26ft

Replies (0) Good night (168) Bad night (248)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: