I cockslap morals
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
